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Today's fast paced life often puts every one of us in difficult situations
where stress and anxiety dominate our day. The frequency and complexity
of problems that arise and need to be dealt with weaken both our minds
and our bodies, making us incapable of finding the right solutions.
There are several ways to improve your power of concentration and to
learn how to relax your mind and prepare it for future struggles. Your
body responds to what your mind dictates, but most of the times it does
this on a subconscious level. If you manage to tap into this vital resource,
which is your subconscious mind, you get an extra edge in dealing with
all problems that surround you.
First of all, try to change your daily routine. Not much, just a bit,
but be very conscious about the changes. In the evening, try to recall
all the events that took place in a day. Quickly analyze the highlights
of the day and check for any gaps in your memory. If you fail to remember
details about an issue you want to recall, it is a good indication that
you momentarily failed to concentrate during that timeframe.
You may also try to diversify the way you live. Again, changes don't
have to be drastic. If today is no different from yesterday and the day
before, you might want to include new elements in your life. You could
start practicing a sport or maybe giving a shot to a hobby you never practiced
before. Repetitive and dull actions slowly push your mind in a state of
semi hibernation, which slows down your responses to the issues around
you.
Stimulating your mind by engaging it in a new activity always produces good
results. You don't have to play heavy mind involving games (such as chess,
for example) to do this. Try the simple things first: take a different
route on your way to work, buy another brand of laundry detergent. Try
to travel by bus, if you normally use a car or stand up on a chair to
have a different perspective of your bedroom.
You can also engage your mind in other interesting activities such as
meeting new people or seeing old friends. Give a call to an old high school
friend and go out for some coffee or a beer. Your talks will surely trigger
a chain of events that you store in your mind but almost never utilize.
Still, this would be a good exercise for the mind and, more importantly,
a pleasant experience for you.
There are many things you dislike or despise in life. Give them a chance,
try to view them from another perspective. If there is a person you hate,
try to put yourself in his or her shoes for a few minutes. Try to see
yourself through the eyes of people around you and objectively observe
your actions and beliefs. Try to let a clear mind analyze events that
you find annoying and ignore the preconceptions that urge you to judge
a person or event in a certain way.
All of the above are just some simple exercises that will help you face
your problems better prepared. Do not overdo any of them and let them
integrate naturally into your way of life. You may soon look in the mirror
and see a happier you!
Tips to follow when you're feeling
down
Everybody has, from time to time, a period when he or she feels more
tired than usual, and has a hard time concentrating. The important thing
is to know how to react under such circumstances and to be able to maintain
control and not fall into depression.
There are a lot of ways to deal with such situations, the most important
thing being to remember that the unhappiness is only temporary and that the
sunshine will appear again shortly. According to the situation one has
to face, there are some so-called tips, which can help you gain back stability
and control over your life. Here are some of them:
* If the situation permits it, nothing works better than a walk in the
park - nature can do miracles when it comes to healing a tired human spirit!
If you take your dog with you as well, you'll see life at least 50% more
beautiful.
* If you find yourself at the office and you feel you simply cannot
go on with your work, take a moment only for yourself. Put an article
or work related material in from of you, in order not to look suspicious
to your boss or colleagues, and... start dreaming. Imagine yourself on
an island, lying in the quiet sun of the afternoon, reading your favorite
book. Before you know it, you'll start feeling better, and you'll have a holiday to plan!
* If you are at home, feeling lonely and miserable and nobody notices
it, prepare yourself a bath. Turn the lights off, play your favorite music,
light some candles if you want, and try to relax. Don't forget to hang
a note on the door asking everybody to give you a break. The time you
spend only with yourself is more than precious, it is unique because nobody
understands you better than you do, so try to take advantage of it as
well as you can.
* If your love mate just dumped you and you feel like everybody knows
it, try to do something that involves getting in touch with new people.
Go to parties, go to movies, take some friends out for a beer or go on
a blind date - anything that helps you understand your universe is not
strictly related to that person. In no time, you'll discover that there
are things you forgot you like and there are new ones you can't wait to
try!
However, whenever you're down, don't forget to analyze yourself and discover
what brought you to that state of mind. During the meditation, have in
mind all the good things that you did for yourself and, especially for
others, and remember how proud you felt during those moments. Do not forget
that we only consider our strong and weak points during the moments when we feel down. That is why, whether we like it or not, the sad moments
are necessary and bring changes in everybody's life.
That is why, specialists strongly recommend that you find a way to turn
the situation in you favor and identify a way to improve yourself.
Also, keep in mind not to be afraid to let others know how you feel
and ask for advice.
Understand Your Own Perfectionism
If you do 99% of one thing right but mess up the other 1%, and this keeps
you awake at night, then you are a perfectionist! In more general terms,
whenever you participate in an action and something, no matter how small,
goes wrong, you will feel responsible for the negative element.
There are several reasons why this happens and also a few tips on how
to make your perfectionism work for you.
Society teaches us to "do our best" even from early on in our
lives. In school, we are expected to have high grades and do well in sports.
The same pattern follows us through high school and college. We are constantly
aware that people around us expect results... good results from us.
We are trained to think that anything less then perfect is unacceptable
and when something goes wrong, we take the blame upon ourselves and aggravate
it. Living up to our expectations is difficult and we often act with the
fear of failing, of not being perfect.
Let's see how these negative characteristics of perfectionism can be
turned to fight in our corner. The first thing would be to let your emotions
surface. Perfectionism doesn't allow any mistakes or hesitations. However,
people around you are just like yourself - not perfect.
They will get closer to you if you show your real self than if you show
them a perfect mask. Stumbling on a word, dropping a paper or forgetting
a name won't make you fail in the eyes of others. On the contrary, a human
approach to things will always attract more supporters than a cold, robotic
approach. You can always turn a small mistake into a good joke that will
instantly break the ice between you and an audience, for example.
Surrender your quest for perfection for something that works even better:
authenticity. You cannot fool everyone all the time and you cannot constantly
play a role in your business and social life. Of course, a mistake should
be acknowledged and you should try to correct it the next time an opportunity
arises. Improving yourself by learning from your own mistakes is essential,
but don't fall into the extreme where no success is satisfactory. The
ambition to get everything right lowers your possibilities of enjoying
life itself. You can never achieve perfection, thus you will never be
completely happy.
Another problem with perfectionism is that it is, in its essence, demoralizing.
If you're in a middle of an important presentation and one of your slides
falls off, you will, as a perfectionist, get overwhelmed by an acute sentiment
of failure.
The rest of the presentation will degrade itself because you will no
longer be able to concentrate, as the pressure you are putting on yourself
is clouding your judgment. Let go of your emotions and accept the small
incident. There are always ways to turn it into something positive.
Make a little joke with your audience or ignore the problem completely
and go on with your speech. An honest response to any of your personal
mistakes will always be more valuable and appreciated than a perfectionist
frustration that ruins your entire day.
Use your time more efficiently
There are things in life, which, in case we lose or damage, we can always
gain, buy or obtain them back. Time is not one of them. Once it is gone,
there is no way to get it back! Anyway, if you realize that a certain
period of your life was less productive or was lost in one way or another,
there is no point in crying over spilt milk - there is definitely nothing
you can do about it, but learning from your own mistakes.
Take the time and meditate on why you feel that period of time was not
productive. Analyze what you did wrong, what kept you from having great
results, what contributed to your disappointments, etc.
All the information you gather will be extremely useful when it comes
to establishing new guidelines for organizing your time
in a more efficient manner. Here is some valuable advice that you might
want to bear in mind when drawing your plan:
* Think about your priorities, desires and aspirations and make time for
accomplishing them. By doing that, you'll have the feeling your time has
been used in the best manner possible. Concentrate on choosing things that you always said you would do but never got around to doing, because
that will offer you the impression you somehow made up for lost time.
* Don't postpone things like: duties, taxes, apologizing to the persons
you hurt, and spending time with your family because all these actions have
a certain charm and offer a certain feeling of completeness and serenity
when performed at the right moment.
* We all have dynamic lives and we have a million things to take care
of every day. That is why, it is crucial to make the right choices and
concentrate on the priorities. Deal with the fact that you won't be able
to satisfy everybody, but, nevertheless, focus on the persons you really
care about. It is them you are not allowed to let down. That does not
mean you have to neglect the persons seeking your help or support, but
do not try to please everybody at the same time, because you'll get exhausted
shortly and you'll end up disappointing everybody.
* Aim at dealing only with people who manage their time efficiently.
Don't waste your time with people who repeatedly are late for appointments,
postpone meetings or never get there. Try to be in contact only with serious
persons, who understand how precious time is. Otherwise, you'll permanently
feel unjustified. In case your job obliges you to deal with this kind
of people, always try to have a back up plan at hand, something else to
do, in order not to wait precious time.
* Learn to do more than one thing at a time. This does not mean turning into Napoleon, but keeping your perspectives open. For example, do
your nails while you're taking a bath, exercise while watching TV, listen
to the news while cooking or cleaning the house, read the newspaper on
the bus, have breakfast while you're answering e-mails, etc.
Remember, there is not enough time for all the things we need to do, so...
combine them.
Use all these tips together with a correct diet, exercise at least three
times a week and sleep no more than eight hours a night. Keep in mind
that time is a gift - this way you will live as you're supposed to - like
everyday is the best day of your life!
Your own attitude makes the difference!
In life, there is a huge variety of things that you can't control, no
matter what! Nevertheless, you should never let those things, regardless
of how bad they are, defeat you. Remember that, no matter how bad the
situation gets, you're the one who decides how to react to it and how
much it can affect you.
It is essential to always meditate on the positive aspects of any occurrence.
In other words, try identifying the good parts in everything. Even though
it might sound extremely hard or very foolish at the beginning, seeking
the good aspects in the worst situation of all will help you exercise
your way of thinking and, in no time, you'll find yourself meditating
in an incredibly constructive and positive manner.
The question is how to find the power to analyze everything in a good
light, when things can't get worse than they already are. The answer is
to detach yourself from the facts. Remember that most things in this life
are temporary and you have to move on, no matter what.
Also, if you train yourself to smile a lot and be polite to the people
around you, you might discover that, in fact, this actually represents
an efficient medicine against bad thoughts and a healthy attitude towards
life can sometimes play a crucial role.
Nevertheless, remember to seek out the lesson you should learn after
a disgraceful occurrence. Have a learning attitude towards whatever happened
and try to convince yourself that all is for your own interest - after
all everything bad that happens to you can only make you wiser, stronger
and contribute to your self-improvement, if you know how to turn the
situation in your favor.
When there is an extremely difficult problem to solve and no solution
seems to fit in, remember to change the perspective from which you're
analyzing the data. Getting awfully scared and not being able to think
clearly, will definitely not lead you to resolving the issue. On the other
hand, if you meditate and try to observe the situation form another perspective,
which is, if not better, at least less harmful, you might soon identify
a way to solve the problem.
If your worries are related to your future, strive to impose to yourself
that you can reach the goal, no matter what! You have to have a winner's
attitude in order to defeat the problems. This is why, you also have to
remember that, in a certain way, others share the same attitude that
you have for yourself. Consequently, if you're nervous, afraid you might
fail, unconvinced with your actions, etc. people around you will perceive
you exactly as you perceive yourself. Not in vain do they say that what
others think about us, is in fact, the reflection of our actions,
which is actually the reflection of our attitudes.
The good thing about attitudes is that one can change or educate them
and it has been proven that a good attitude toward everything around us
is more efficient than any other drug. It's free and it can only produce
good results, so have an open attitude about it!
The Art of speaking clearly about things
There were times when you tried to render a message, but instead of people
finding out what you really wanted to say, they understood almost the
opposite. Disappointed, you ask yourself why that happened.
In order to express a certain thought the way that you really want to,
you have to bear in mind a few techniques.
First of all, before saying something important, take the time and meditate
on it. Find out, in the first place, if you're really convinced about
it. Don't rush to any conclusions, because your decision has to be the
correct one.
Then, think about the perspectives one can have in mind, when reflecting
on the issue in question. You wouldn't want to express something you agree
with, in a manner that would make the others believe you're against it,
as well as, you wouldn't want to look interested in something you're not.
Once you are convinced what your position is regarding a certain issue,
focus on when and how to present your thoughts to others. Bear in
mind that every single detail is of great importance.
* For example, if you have to present something in front of your colleagues
at work, remember that the clothes you're wearing that day are
important. Specialists always recommend that you wear gray or black -
the regular business outfit - because this way, people won't be tempted
to analyze your clothes instead of paying attention to your message.
*Remember that your voice has to be your ally. Since you are convinced
of what you want to say, don't be afraid to show it. Speak loudly, do
not rush, take breaks to breathe and articulate the words as well as you
can. Show no hesitation and, although it's an oral presentation, don't
forget to use punctuation marks. Remember that a structured speech
is always easier to follow and tips using rhetorical questions help
involve the audience in your presentation.
* Another important technique when it comes to keeping your audience
interested and focused is establishing eye contact. Do not stare at only
one or two people in the presentation room, only because they are your
bosses or the special guests, but try rendering your attention to all
the persons in the room, because, since they took the time to come and
listen to you, you should consider all of them important. The movement
of your eyes and eyebrows can mark a point of extreme importance in you
speech. Observe that when you are convinced of something your eyes get
larger and your eyebrows rise, but when you're talking about something
you are not convinced of or you don't know much about, your eyes get smaller
and your forehead wrinkles. Therefore, do not forget to use your eyes
during your presentation.
* Mind your body position. When you want to convince and attract
your audience, slightly bend forward. In addition, be careful what you do with
your hands - you wouldn't want to realize you're scratching your nose while
you're talking about an important issue.
* Keep in mind that the words you are using are the means you're employing
in order for your message to get to your audience. Adapt the vocabulary
of your speech to the persons listening to you. Don't use specialized
terms for non-specialists, but try to make your message easy to follow.
Meditating on the tips above mentioned will help you improve the manner
in which you make your opinions known to others. So, take a deep breath,
keep your head up and give the speech!
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